Let the man ride!
Yes - half of you are rolling eyes, the other half nodding, feeling a surge of adrenaline. Let’s explore why this machine of freedom is an essential and symbolic tool for navigating a man’s complex inner landscape. You all want to have a man who you will feel alive with. So let the man ride!
When I was 12 years old my uncle, a motorbike racer, granted me a ride at the back of his muscular black Kawasaki. Not sure if my mom’s surprising approval was intentional but it made me not want to come anywhere close to a motorbike for the next 25 years.
And yet here I am—having learned to ride and rediscovered my love for motorcycles during my deployment in Malaysia. I bought my own Triumph Thruxton 1200 when I returned to the Netherlands seven years ago. What is it about a motorcycle that makes it so irresistible for a man in midlife?
The Quest for Freedom and Autonomy
The first half of a man's life is often characterised by the accumulation of responsibilities and constraints: a mortgage, a structured career path, family duties, and societal expectations. While often fulfilling, these slowly create a sense of being "caged" or “tamed."
The motorcycle is a "machine of freedom”. It offers an immediate, visceral experience of freedom and autonomy that is hard to replicate. The act of riding, with no destination required, is a direct rebellion against a life that has become heavily scheduled and routinized. It allows a man to, for a few hours, shed his identity as an employee, a husband, or a father, and reconnect with a wilder, more independent version of himself.
It is not just a motorbike but a declaration that he is still in control of his own direction.
A Direct Confrontation with Mortality
Our bodies are aging, parents may be passing away, and the horizon of life is visibly closer. We suddenly desire to feel intensely alive.
Engaging with death on one’s own terms, rumbling through the wind, feeling the gravity pull in a curve floods the body with adrenaline and endorphins. The rider is not insulated from the world in a metal box; he is in it. He feels the changes in temperature, the vibration of the engine, and the smells of the countryside or city. This sensory flood pulls a man out of the abstract world of his thoughts and anxieties and grounds him firmly in the physical reality of the present moment. It is a powerful act of mindfulness that reawakens the body and the senses.
The Reassertion of a Primal Masculine Identity
Doing slides, smiling in meetings and living a domesticated life usually creates disconnect from traditional archetypes of masculinity that are rooted in adventure, physical competence, and self-reliance.
A motorcycle is loud, mechanical, and requires physical skill to master. It taps into the cultural archetypes of the rebel, the lone rider, and the adventurer. For a man whose daily life involves emails and spreadsheets, mastering a powerful, potentially deadly machine is a way to reconnect with a more visceral, embodied sense of his own masculine energy.
The Pursuit of Mastery and the "Flow State"
By midlife, a man's career may have plateaued. The challenges that once felt exciting may now feel mundane, and the sense of learning and growth can diminish. That is why I put so much focus in FewGoodMen and in my private coaching on new skill development.
Learning to ride a motorcycle is a new and complex skill. It demands total concentration, coordinating clutch, throttle, brakes, and body position. This intense focus induces a "flow state," a state of complete absorption in an activity. In this state, self-consciousness disappears, time seems to distort, and the activity becomes its own reward, providing a form of active meditation. It offers a new mountain to climb, a new area of competence to be mastered, which is profoundly satisfying and opens door of confidence for other new skills that we need to master on our journey to a larger life.
An entry ticket to a new tribe
While riding is often a solo activity, owning a motorcycle offers the access to a ready-made "tribe." To belong, to have a group of men you can rely on for support, build your energy with or just to take your mind away during a short Sunday trip is essential for the man on his midlife adventure.
So, buying a motorcycle in midlife isn’t really the “crisis” it’s often made out to be. More than anything, it’s a way of giving yourself a tool to navigate a deep internal shift. It’s both symbolic and practical—a way to answer that quiet call for freedom, vitality, mastery, and a fresh sense of who you are. Is it the solution itself? No. But but it can spark the inner journey that shapes the second half of a man’s life.
If you feel the calling to embark on your adventure of self-discovery, join us for one of our retreats or circles.
