King’s Speech & Coat of Hearts
At the end of day three, all 30 initiates have put on their better clothes they’d brought in specifically for this occasion of “coronation”. There is nervousness in the air, few men still looking at their scribbled paper. The heavy relic of a Templer sword is already waiting at the altar. Soon the men will form two rows and will be invited to step forth when they feel their time is right - to walk over to the sword, holding their coat of arms, and proclaim, in front of everybody, what kind of king they intend to be from now on.
Year after year, I found this the biggest test of courage for men. Why is it so emotional and intense, and why does it have such a profound impact on men as an initiation ritual?
Men retreat 2026, King’s Speech ritual
The word courage comes from the Latin cor, meaning heart. Which is exactly the symbol that 90% of men chooses as their central symbol of their hand-painted coat of arms.
And that is where the sudden emotional surge comes from. Because for the first time in their lives they will drop all their defences, that whole armour they created to be safe, loved, seen as successful, and for once will stand bravely with their heart naked - completely vulnerable - in front of others, subconsciously stating:
"I am tired of being afraid. I want the courage to actually feel my life again.”
To understand this we have to go all the way to the beginning where the core wound of boys can be tracked to. As Judy Y. Chu observes in her beautiful book When Boys Become Boys a men’s core wound is disconnection (not so much for Gen Z and Alpha though - article about that later). Somewhere around the age of 3 to 5 we are told that "big boys don't cry" and we simply have to shut part of ourselves off and start building a protective armour in order to adapt and survive a world that does not know what to do with our complex hearts.
The issue is that by “manning up” and thus severing the heart we are not only cutting off our capability to manage emotions, use empathy, and relational capacity - we are also disconnecting from our instinct, our passion and essential power. Just like with alcohol and drugs, you are never numbing or dialling down only the dark parts but also the light.
Why is our energy dimming
Becoming disconnected at the young age means we start building the heavy protective armour - becoming what we learn we should be in order to be accepted, loved, respected and successful. This armour is the persona we want others to see - and is the root of all the anxieties and us being dependent on what others think about us.
Every time sometimes criticise our persona, we are nervous because we know that armour we created is fragile, not real.
As we go in life, this armour becomes too heavy to carry. Not having access to our true joy and passion, and carrying this heavy protective armour is an exhausting game. A game we become tired of at some point of our lives.
What got us here won’t take us ahead
According to a 2025 study by Dutch Public Health Institute, 61% of high-earning male respondents feeling "successful but unanchored”. These are men that already won. On the paper. Yet deep inside they feel they really do not know themselves and live lives of other people.
These are men in professions that make them live entirely in their intellect. Constantly calculating, optimising. But having no proper access to what is happening inside. Left at mercy to unconscious powers managing their lives and reactions.
The return of the wild heart
Coat of Arms created during men’s retreat using Projection Techniques, 90% carry the symbol of the heart
Back to the King’s speech ritual: The instant rush of vitality, strength and relief - once a man allows himself to stand in front of others with his heart open is overwhelming. He becomes his own man, he experiences that vulnerability is strength, his idea of what gains him respect gets rewired. A new King is born, indeed.
Reconnecting with our masculine power is not about becoming yet another person. It is dissolving of the armour of who we once believed we should be. It is simply about coming back to who we really are. From this remembering we can finally build long lasting, joyful relationships and thriving businesses.
The native Americans call it Red Path of the Heart. A way of life that represents the antidote to the “unlived life”. Living in integrity with one’s heart. Without compromising, staying connected to your own source of power. Embracing in the heart both gentleness and the courage and clear borders of the Jaguar. Dedicating ample amount of time to cultivating your inner world - before ever trying to cultivate the outside world.
Removing the Armour
To reconnect with our strength and power, we first create an environment free of judgement, where men feel they are safe and accepted exactly as they are. We help them to analyse the “old contract” for them to see what protective armour they have assembled over the years, what it costs them and how much energy it takes in various aspects of their lives.
Gaining somatic awareness is the first step. Moving away from the intellect to our bodies through breath work, body work, guided visualisations help us to become conscious of what happens to our nervous system and how to manage it. From this place, we can go deeper. If you feel the calling, join us.
