Within every gentleman there is a beast. Within every beast, there is a gentleman.
Watching the #insidethemanosphere Netflix documentary, I became physically sick. There is a clear void - caused by the lack of present fathers, and role models. And it is only up to us, individually and collectively, how we decide to fill that void, and what ideals we present to all the men feeling lost out there.
Which is why I started FewGoodMen to begin with. To build a secret army of role models. Men who become a different quality of presence in every room they enter.
The documentary made our effort all the more important and urgent, yet it also triggered an important realisation - it upset me because it shows my own (and our collective) shadow. It shows what happens when do not tend to our inner beast, when we do not integrate it. Society decided that it will be safer to raise men kind, compliant, responsible and harmless. But what we suppress does not disappear. It waits. And when it is released uncontrollably, mayhem ensues.
Raised Gentleman
My mom always wanted me to be a gentleman. (At least that is how I interpreted it anyway.) I became well dressed, well mannered, well articulated, and polite - but feared confrontation, withdrawing instantly when things weren’t going my way, quick to prioritise everyone else’s comfort over my own truth, too nervous about what others think about me. And on occasions when my inner beast took over, I became arrogant. I went berserk on sexual adventures, alcohol and drugs. And slowly faced the uncomfortable truth, looking around realising that men who actually move the world - the ones with true, undeniable navigational presence - have something I lacked. Danger. Teeth.
Untaming the Beast
Seeing I essentially amputated my own power, my adventurous journey took me away from the Corporate Boardroom of Heineken, into the raw nature of Costa Rica, where I met my initiator - and embraced the inner beast or the shadow as Jung would say. Transforming the fear of dark murky waters, and that inner werewolf inside me into part of me, I felt as if receiving a transfusion of blood, with new energy pouring down my veins. Feeling alive, direct and firm but not domineering, grounded but intense, calm yet dangerous when necessary, fully sexual but not predatory. Welcoming my life force and vitality back.
I see men coming to our programs experiencing the same, trading their instincts, their daring for sense of stability, responsibility, nobility. But that leads to compromising our own integrity, not being able to give our full strength, vitality and essence to neither us and therefore compromising the impact we can have on those around us.
FewGoodMen Untamed
Within every gentleman there is a beast. Within every beast, there is a gentleman. True strength is not suppression of either, but mastery of both.
That is why I am changing the name and sharpening the focus of FewGoodMen, to FewGoodMen untamed. Creating a place and community where we Groom the Gentlemen, and Untame the Beast. To reconnect men to their essential power. Integrating what they suppressed, their instinct, fire, and grounded animal presence, transforming good men into complete ones.
Integrating these polarities provides the masculine flexibility so much needed these days. Where a man is able to fight a battle in the morning and gently nurture a crying child in the evening without losing his sense of self. A man like that allows his partner to relax into her femininity. A man like that creates an atmosphere where people want to give their best.
More to come soon. Jiri
