Power of the Voice
How working with your voice helps you to uncover your true self and take more space in the world.
After leaving Heineken, I realised my source of confidence was my tied to my business card, and I spent several consecutive years rebuilding my anchors, my strength from within. To do that I had to reconnect with the absolute core of who I was.
And on this experiential journey to my personal freedom, working with my actual voice proved one of the fundamental - yet perhaps surprising - tools to do that. Having a resonant voice is not just the difference between people hearing you and listening to you, so you can create impact.
It is an immediate signal of how comfortable you are of being your true self. Because what creates resonance is authenticity - removing all the filters and masks that you put on over the years, that suffocated the power of your true voice.
“Working actively with your voice then and mastering it leads to broader life changes, increased self worth and the ability to stand proud and tall, allowing ourselves to take the space in the world.” Matias Stegmann
In this episode, I sat down with Matias Stegmann. Mati is an accomplished actor, singer, vocal coach and sound healer based in Amsterdam, The Netherlands. Music is his life and through vocal coaching he has helped hundreds of students develop their voice, confidence and self-expression.
Full Podcast Power of the Voice: Jiri Rakosnik and Matias Stegmann
What spoke to me instantly on our first coffee date was that Mati mentioned he would see his clients suddenly taking more space in life.
I originally came to him because I wanted to cultivate my voice in terms of the aesthetic quality - to command the rooms better, to guide groups of men with more confidence, to do my guided visualisations so that they have bigger impact. But I realised instantly that this is another invitation to go deeper on my journey of self-understanding and self-mastery.
Upon hearing “take more space”, immediately my childhood memories came up. My dad, amazing that he’s been this whole time, is also a musician and he would tell my mom in a joke that I was trying to kill him by singing. A small sideline joke comment but deep down it stuck. Combined with the fact that I felt I had to be a well behaved gentleman when growing up, I simply put a limiter on my voice and my level of expression.
Reflecting on my experience from FewGoodMen, observing hundreds of men at our programs I could see a clear pattern: If you use your true voice, and dare to speak from the heart, others will immediately trust you more, connect with you more, are willing to help you, AND you allow your self to take more space!
As Mati described later, he would see his clients coming out of their shells and becoming main protagonist of their story.
Corporate Dynamics and Compensation Behaviours
To begin the journey to our true voice, it is useful to first understand what strategies successful men deploy to compensate for the lack of authentic resonance.
Wearing a performative skin. Because we think our natural voice does not possess enough the leadership or sexy quality we are either trying to speak too fast to sound smart & capable or we push through with the imposter loud baritone to assume the tone of a powerful persona.
Disconnected from one’s strength Because we are not really connected to our true power, we simply come across as constricted - unconsciously afraid to bring ourselves fully to the world, or we can sound disconnected, or monotonous - lacking passion and as man, playing it safe, not revealing our true emotions.
The result is that instead of sounding powerful, men would end up sounding indecisive, not confident, or agitated because they do lack the authentic resonance. So these strategies a lot of us would be guilty of become rather our limitations in life.
Unique feature of Mati is how much he inspires playfulness during his practice sessions. This is a key factor to unlock the vulnerability of his students.
My story, and the search for authentic voice
I came to Mati as a perfect customer, essentially carrying all the symptoms of the physical constraints that I learnt to discover, and work with eventually.
The important note is that the objective of such training is not the aesthetics or quality of the sound, rather it is about learning the technique and mechanics first which built up the confidence and helped me to achieve clear tone.
The other fundamental element is Mati’s approach which is professional yet friendly, supportive, and focused to reconnect and embrace one’s playfulness which are essential ingredients to relax into one’s vulnerability, and unlock the true self that has been otherwise hiding away for years.
Key physical constraints and how to overcome them
Breathy voice
Jiri: Psychologically, this is an acoustic apology. It is a way of holding back the raw, full truth of the voice. Me “being told” I was too much, too intense and a bad singer when I was a kid definitely created a certain block at the level of my larynx.
Mati: Breathy voice essentially means the vocal folds aren't fully closing to resist the air. By leaking air, the voice loses its "ring" and core power. Through vocal training the larynx is connected, and we can increase volume. Delivering more smoothness, and resonance.
During our first session with Mati, he invited me to go louder and fuller in voice. And suddenly as if an invisible ceiling bursted - I felt taller than ever, a sense of newly reclaimed power and freedom filled my whole body.
Tongue tension
Mati: When the tongue is tight, the larynx (voice box) is held hostage, preventing the voice from flowing freely.
Jiri: If you live too much in your head, in corporate or analytical roles, men are constantly calculating and overthinking. The tongue is intimately connected to thought—we subtly micro-articulate words when we think. This creates immense chronic tension at the root of the tongue.
Singing with Matias is full of "very funny" exercises :)
Mati: Also for general muscle tension, true vocal resonance requires a supple, elastic body to act as a sounding board however rigid, armored musculature absorbs sound vibrations rather than amplifying them. Many individuals, particularly those in high-stress environments, struggle with shallow chest breathing that bypasses the diaphragm; correcting this allows the body to function as a resonant amplifier rather than a constrictor.
Monotonous delivery
Mati: Pitch variation requires emotional flexibility. A flat, monotone voice is a safe voice—it gives nothing away and hides fluctuations in mood like sadness, joy, or frustration. The result of ”Boys don't cry" often translates somatically into a voice that refuses to inflect. Working and practicing with our voice on the other hand unlocks our emotional world, sensibility and creativity and the long lost playfulness.
High chest breathing
Mati: To gain smoothness and weight of our sound we have to grant a solid body support. Not having built a solid connection with lower part of the body, using shallow breathing due to slouching behind the computers, we deprive the vocal cords of the deep pneumatic support they need from the diaphragm, forcing the throat muscles to overwork to produce sound.
What can you do immediately? Links to useful stuff
TRY 5 minute visualisation by Jiri: Shift from head to body and execute body scan
https://www.jirirakosnik.com/guided-visualisations
To quickly experience the shift from busy mind to your body, tune into your body with this somatic visualisation. Observe what your body says to you, locate your hidden tension, release the invisible weight, and make space for your natural vitality to return.
TRY 10 minute exercise by Matias: Open Up The Throat Chakra With Vocal Toning
With this 10 minute meditation you will connect to your voice. Enjoy vocal toning and opening the Throat Chakra to be able to communicate your desires with more freedom and love. Gain self-confidence as you play with your voice and dare to inhabit your vibrant body. You don't need to be a singer to experience the benefits of vocal toning. Everyone can do it, and with my guidance you will feel safe to explore your voice.
VISIT Mati’s Profile on Insight Timer for more of his exercises
