Three Core Challenges Every Man Faces—and How to Move Beyond Them
Over the years I see a similar pattern in the three main challenges that participants share and that very well reflect my own struggles. These three themes quietly shape a man’s life, often without him even realizing the full cost. These are not just minor frustrations—they ripple through his personal relationships, his leadership, and ultimately, his sense of self.
1. Reacting Too Much
In the movie Single Man which I love, Tom Ford is using Aldous Huxley’s quote, “Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.” It’s not the stress itself, but your response to it that defines your life.
On a daily basis, this looks like snapping at your family over small things, feeling anxious when someone questions you at work, or constantly seeking approval from friends, colleagues, or society at large. Your sense of self fluctuates with every external signal—if a project succeeds, you feel on top of the world; if it fails, you feel like a failure. In my case this became painfully apparent in the relationship arena where my insecurities and the neediness to be seen and cared for by my partner (a classic issue of a little boy demanding love from his mom) prevented me from being the solid stable element she could count on. I read in one of the Deida’s books that your woman is here to test you (with immense pleasure), she knows you like noone else, knows your weaknesses and it never stops :)
On the personal level the implication is usually that household tension rises; loved ones walk on eggshells around you. Whether you jump in the car after an argument, claiming you are leaving for good or try to attack back, emotional outbursts create unpredictability and distance. And worst of all, those very things that caused you pain, and you wish not for anyone else to experience you are now passing down to your loved ones and children.
On the professional level suppressed emotions leak into leadership. I have seen so many founders and CEOs who create fear-based cultures. Preventing from getting the best creativity from their people. Decisions are reactive, short-term, and often flawed. Opportunities slip by because your perception is clouded by reactivity. High-potential employees see the toll leadership takes and disengage.
2. Addictions and Escapes
Yes, my favourite. Chasing sexual fantasies, buying pleasure, MDMA, waking up feeling like crap on the inside saying you won’t do it ever again and then doing it again two weeks later…Whether it’s work, sex, substances, pumping weights, running or digital distractions, it is essential to see through and understand what these actually are. Such compulsions temporarily fill the gaps left by a lack of affection or connection—but they do so at the cost of presence. The dopamine hits feel good, but your relationships, your intimacy, and your ability to be fully alive diminish.
On the personal level you are simply missing out on life. The important moments happen around you but you are not there to see it. You become emotionally isolated. Chasing escapes instead of building genuine intimacy leaves loved ones feeling disconnected.
On the professional level, apart from the obvious “stacking up effect” where at some point the addiction to distraction or compensation depletes your resilience, often leading to serious health issues - it also means lack of vision.
3. Being a Nice Guy
Our society wants “good boys” and teaches us to avoid conflict—even in the moments where healthy confrontation is necessary. In my case it was the image of “gentleman” hiding behind the nice clothes, proper behaviour, and judging rudeness. Meanwhile actually being disconnected from my own source of strength. Being a nice guy encourages us to say “yes” when we really want to say “no”, stripping away the inner strength required to create what we truly long for and causing burn outs, as we keep going against our selves in the long run.
I wrote a short post long time ago, reflecting my own challenge at work when meeting what I call the “sabre tooth tigers”.
I feel his gaze, and suddenly it’s as if the ground beneath me is shifting, ready to give way. His energy surrounds me, like a shadow revealing my vulnerabilities, sapping my strength. I start to doubt myself, fearing I might not be enough. And in that moment, instead of standing as the equal he chose, I feel like a small boy.
Every so often, the Sabertooth Tiger appears—the alpha—testing just how grounded and certain I am in what I believe.
My convictions are the solid earth beneath my feet, and when I stand without doubt, he senses it too—the bear-like strength in my eyes. Then he meets me as an equal, and together we become mirrors for each other, inspiring the qualities we can each grow and embody.
The Path Forward
What if you could recover quickly from stress, find clarity in decisions, and cultivate the ability to respond rather than react? What if your identity wasn’t tied to fleeting roles, social status, or outcomes, but anchored in something deeper, more enduring?
Thoughts about inner peace aren’t enough. You need to experience directly a different state of mind, feel and see that it is possible to feel inner peace, be grounded, reconnect to your own strength. That is the role of an initiation retreat. It is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. Only after stepping into a space where you can embody a new way of being, you can carry it into every relationship, every decision, every day of your life.
When these pain points are addressed, life transforms. You recover fast because you can settle your nervous system, return to your center of gravity, and respond rather than react. You feel grounded in your core truth, your inner state is no longer dictated by life’s chaos. The weather of life doesn’t define your entire experience. Change becomes a source of energy, not fear. You navigate uncertainty with clarity and calm. Leadership becomes inspiring, creative, and resilient. And all your relationships deepen making way for intimacy and trust to flourish.
